The beginning of the end

This was my last week at my clinical internship. And I was so sad to go (Though by some miracle I did not cry… until the next day anyway). We only have 30 days left until the end of school.

I have grown so much this year. I know my preferred modalities and orientations (and more importantly, how to implement them). I know my therapeutic style—definitely am not a blank slate kinda girl; if you’re my client my reactions will be genuine (although not extreme). I know how and when to safety plan. I learned how to always have a plan and to never expect to use it. I discovered that my intuition was right; I want to work with high schoolers.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for my supervisor and all of the work that he put into the program this year for us and the kids. He guided me and directed me and supported me when I wasn’t sure how to support myself. He was a constant reminder of God’s grace, compassion, and love; he never let me forget that God is in the room with the students and I, and that I need to take care of myself and take time to soak up life’s experiences.

This was my first supervisor. My first clients. My first office. Arguably, my first time ending something 100% well and not as an emotional wreck. I have been beyond blessed by everyone and everything this year. I will never forget them or that place.

As I look to the future, I am amazed and thankful. This was a formative year for me. At the beginning of the year when I saw my first client I was dumbfounded. I thought, “holy cr*p, I am actually a counsellor now, this is insane!” But now I feel that I’ve really started to grow into that. I am a counsellor! And a good one at that (at least, according to supervisor and student feedback–definitely have a lot to learn and have made mistakes along the way!). But it feels great to say that and to mean it and to own it and incorporate it into a professional identity.

I know I was lucky this year, not everybody has such positive first experiences with their internships. I hope that everyone has been able to take away some of the same levels of confidence and lessons. Let me know in the comments below!

This story was published on June 17, 2018, on the blog, The Young Grad Student (available here) and has been republished here with permission.